the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
