watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize