Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just want nice things and good sex
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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