i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
