I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
