but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize