is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize