I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
should my penis look like a turkey
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
