I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
