Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Boobs are out for the taking
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm too high and old for this...
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