Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
