I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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