I'm jealous of your bromance
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
