My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
