Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
