Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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