I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
