omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You made out with two different species that night
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
