My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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