Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
