3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize