i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize
