I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
