So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
