I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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