I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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