I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I supernannyed him into submission
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
