Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
