I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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