I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
