We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
