Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
