I'm really into asian looking animals
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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