oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
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