Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
