She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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