oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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