I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
