Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
