Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
