put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
