we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I need to sanitize my soul.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
