Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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