I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
