..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He passed out mid-signature
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
