Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
soo... how was my night?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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