i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
