Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
