we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
