His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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