Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Come back. Shots need mouths.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
