I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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