When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
