thus making me awesome and them whores
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize