dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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