i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
