You're earring is so big in my mouth
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
